Heyyyyyy, Friend!

NO WAY you thought I was gone for good, right?!? LOL! Man oh man... it has been a WHILEEE! I can only start this blog off by THANKING GOD!!! It is by His grace and His grace only that I am even sitting in front of this computer writing a blog again! I'm so grateful for the way He covers us, keeps us, and guides us throughout every season of our lives! I strongly believe that PURE and TRUE protection, love, and mercy is something you will struggle to find in this world and can only fully experience through knowing God! His ability to cheer us on at the top of the mountain, yet comfort us and provide us with a closeness in the pit of the valley has been so special to me during my time away. I have soooo much to share about this season I am/have been in. But before that, it is only right that I give God the praise He is due! Through every lesson and blessing (because we don't take no losses over here) I've received in this first half of 2024, God has still been GOOD, you hear me?!

Sunflowers are known to symbolize strength, enlightenment, and resilience. I've had the pleasure of getting to know these characteristics of the sunflower on a deeper level over the past few months and it has been nothing short of amazing. The sunflower is no longer just my logo, but now signifies something so much greater in my life.

STRONGISH...

Well... where do I begin?! I guess I'll start by saying that this year so far has been pivotal to my journey with God. At the top of January, I discovered something new about myself. I always considered myself to be a "strong person,"but God began to show me that my perception of what being"strong" was had been completely distorted.

I used to define strength as being able to take on anything thrown at me. I've always admired my ability to figure out a way to endure no matter what the circumstances were. It didn't matter how rude people were to me, it didn't matter if they didn't like me, it didn't matter if my feelings were hurt, it didn't matter if I was uncomfortable, IT JUST DIDN'T MATTER because it was never able to break me. I was able to adjust, take it, suppress my personal feelings, and STILL thrive because I was "STRONG...ISH" There was no such thing as not having the answers, taking breaks from things, saying no, or walking away because then that would make me weak (or so I thought.) Depending on who you are, you may not be able to see the issue in this, and I could relate once upon a time, but hear me out.

It wasn't until the beginning of this year that God began to minister to me on what REAL strength looks like. He showed me that it isn't measured by how much mess I could take on and flip in my favor... But rather my ability to stand firm in who I know I am in God, how I deserve to be treated, what I will accept and will not accept, and who truly deserves access to the most beautiful parts of my soul. I learned at the beginning of this year, that putting God first and staying true to Alita at ALL times, is what true strength looks like. Believe it or not doing this takes just as much work as the other type of strength and it has even hurt just as much, if not worse than the other kind of strength. But the Holy Spirit spoke to me so clearly one day and told me that it was time for me to PICK MY PAIN. I could choose to serve man and continue to allow them to inflict pain and experience emptiness, or I could choose God, and trust that even when His will causes pain, there is joy and purpose waiting on the other side of my tears.

PICK YOUR PAIN

Since the month of January, I have been "picking my pain." I decided to submit myself and build up enough faith to follow God blindly. I didn't know where He would be taking me, I didn't know why, to be honest, some days I feel like I'm still waiting on the answers to these questions. But the one thing that I am certain of is that HE WON'T FAIL ME!

The first half of this year has forced me to face some very hard truths. One of the biggest ones was how much I've neglected myself. I truly forgot who I was for a season. I allowed PEOPLE to dictate my worth, my emotions, and my value. I spent so much time taking to heart what people felt about me, and working double time to appease them, not even realizing how much I was being harmed instead of helped in the process. I have always felt like when people want to be connected to me, look out for me, are there for me, or help me that I owe them. Now I'm not saying you should take things from people and give them nothing in return. But I do believe time, effort, love, and loyalty should count for something, however, I realized this year for some, it doesn't count. I've learned that repaying many people back is you being whatever they want you to be, and keeping them comfortable despite how their expectations may affect you. NO, you may not go against their ideas, NO, you may not correct them like they do you, NO you may not be free to be yourself and live in your truth. Why?! Because in their minds, they are only concerned with their needs and how they are feeling, so going against them somehow equates to you being ungrateful and doing them wrong. And because they are connected to you, and they do seem to genuinely love and care for you at times, you just deal with it. Despite the disrespect, the conversations being had behind your back, the secret animosity, the lack of support, or even the Holy Spirit speaking to you directly... Well... I decided to PICK MY PAIN.

This year, I've learned that someone being kind to me, or helping me doesn't mean that I have to lose sight of who I am or ignore their toxic behaviors and put up with anything they bring to me. Just because someone desires to be my friend or be in my life, doesn't mean I HAVE to allow them in especially when they aren't giving me reasons to! Again, I am learning that I don't have to accept just ANYTHING, and that doesn't make me any less of a Christian. This year God has led me to release many people, places, and things that no longer serve this season of my life and He isn't done yet. Who we connect ourselves to MATTERS. If something or someone is bringing constant doubt, chaos, discomfort, and confusion, you have to PICK YOUR PAIN. Stay connected and remain depleted or let go and allow God to guide you to the place where you belong. It won't be easy, it will hurt, but understand that God will deliver. I'm also realizing sometimes, it's not even a forever thing. You may only need to depart for a season. Whatever it is... you have to pick a side understanding the choice is YOURS to make.

ROAD TO RECOVERY

As I mentioned earlier, when you decide to follow God blindly, it does not always feel good. I can honestly say that this has been my toughest stage with God yet. I've had more random outbursts of tears, as well as battles with anxiety, depression, anger, fear, and grief these last 6 months then EVER in my life. Now, I know someone reading this is probably thinking, "Are you sure you're following God, because those things surely don't sound like Him?!" And my answer is I AM 1,000% sure. Every stage I've mentioned, is my flesh's response to the shift happening in my life. Walking away from ANYTHING you've gotten comfortable with, that you're familiar with, or that you love will always have its set of challenges even if it is for a good cause. It's especially hard when you're walking away and don't really know what's next.

So many have asked where have I been? Why did I stop writing blogs? Where are the notebooks? Why haven't I done many events? And my simple answer is, I'm on a ROAD TO RECOVERY! I'm taking back everything I allowed the devil to steal from me. God is healing me from the inside out, even to this day. I'm learning the Alita that doesn't say yes to everything. The Alita that creates boundaries with EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY now. The Alita who isn't afraid to let someone know she didn't like the way they spoke to her. The Alita who isn't afraid to walk away from people who mentally drain her or spiritually weigh her down. The Alita who doesn't know what God will do next, but shows gratitude for everything He's doing NOW. The Alita who isn't afraid to mess up or be wrong. The Alita who is content with not having the answers.

If you've been supportive of my blogs, you know I pride myself on transparency! So... there you have it! I want to thank every single person who has supported me in public and/or in private! I also want to send a special thank you to the people who have reached out to me personally through text, call, DM, email, etc., to check up on Hidden Treasures! Please understand that God's promises are still His promises and HE IS A MAN OF HIS WORD! The blogs, notebooks, workshops, and all of the other things are STILL ON THE WAY! Ya girl just needs a little more molding and preparation to ensure i can navigate through the overflow! After all, what good is it to gain the world, and lose your soul?

Prayer

Dear God I thank you for each person reading this blog. God we come to you with thanksgiving in our hearts. Despite circumstances and tribulations, Lord you are still worthy of our praises. God I ask that you would touch any person reading this blog that can identify with the season I am currently in. Lord give them direction. Let them know that there is purpose in their pain and that you would never let their hurt go in vain. Lord I ask that you touch the hearts and minds of your people. Help us find our strength in you. God we know that man will fail us every time, but you are the God who never fails. God bless your people, comfort them like never before. I praise you in advance for every life this blog will touch. I pray that you would continue to see Hidden Treasures worthy and use it as a vessel. God we ask you to guide us, cover and keep us as we continue to Heal, Evolve, and Rise together. AMEN!