Boundaries, PLEASE!

Take a moment to learn why boundaries are not only important, but necessary in order to reach your full potential in God's kingdom!

Throughout my faith journey, I'm learning that having healthy boundaries is a key component to keeping God at the center of your life. It is not selfish, or wrong to place boundaries on people, places or things while you are in the midst of finding out who you are supposed to be in God and what purpose that person, place or thing is supposed to serve in your life. In fact, until you do that, you will continue to struggle with balancing yourself, and knowing if something is too much or not enough for you!

Depending on the circumstances, building a wall can be a good thing...

As long as I can remember, I've struggled with placing healthy boundaries in multiple areas of my life. I'm the type of person that would prefer to let the situation be, despite being offended, my feelings getting hurt, or just overall feeling some type of way about how something transpired. I feel like I've always harbored this fear of letting people down, losing them, being talked about, or not being liked. At an early age, I developed this poor habit of allowing people to say whatever they wanted to me, however they wanted to me, and not be vocal about how it made me feel. Unfortunately, that habit stuck around until about a year or so ago and it is still something I have to revisit and conquer every so often.

I can honestly say that God is still teaching me so much in the "boundary department." Sometimes I believe I hold back because I KNOW FOR A FACT, if I give people the same attitude they give me, if I stoop low and match their immaturity and pettiness, if I use the same language and tone they speak to me in, THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT! Not to mention the fact that God calls us to bless those who curse us and pray for those who mistreat us! With that being said, God showed me that it's important to address those things that consistently distract you from your purpose, but you have to do it in a way that doesn't rebuke whatever it is. He showed me that this can be accomplished simply by setting healthy boundaries when necessary.

When Should We Set Boundaries?

Over time, I've come to notice that if you don't take a moment to pray, reflect and intentionally decide who and what needs boundaries in your life, your flesh will subconsciously create a false reality for you. What do I mean by this? If you do not like something your mom CONSTANTLY says to you, but you never address it and you never tell her it's something you prefer she didn't say, you leave an empty space open. You can fill that space by taking the initiative to place a boundary on that specific conversation and make that boundary known to your mom. Or on the other hand, you can allow your flesh to subconsciously create this false reality of, "My mom is constantly offending me in this area and hurting my feelings on purpose. This is why I can't allow myself to get close to her. This is why we don't get along. She doesn't understand or get me." These are the thoughts the enemy will have us subconsciously create, when we aren't bold and trust God enough to create healthy boundaries.

Setting a boundary because you don't want to deal with something/somebody or, you're doing it with ill intentions in your heart will only backfire on YOU! You must seek God and truly examine yourself before deciding if something or someone needs a boundary in your life! I asked God several times, "Well, when do I know a boundary is needed?"And God told me that boundaries are needed when a person, place, or thing is repeatedly putting you in a space where you are not operating out of the Fruits of the Spirit. If you continuously find yourself in a place where you are turning away from love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self control... Friend, A BOUNDARY IS NEEDED! And if you choose to not set a boundary, you cannot be upset with the results of a situation.

What Happens When We Don't Set Boundaries!

As stated, not setting boundaries can allow your mind to become a playground for the enemy. But even more, it takes away from our peace and focus on God. If you are constantly walking around offended or unhappy about areas in your life that you haven't spoken up for, you can't possibly have room to fulfill the things God has called you to.

And I get it, setting boundaries can be awkward and even uncomfortable at times, but so is sitting in your own self pity, and being angry, and holding grudges. So friend, sometimes we just have to pick a struggle. Be transparent and free and deal with a little awkwardness that will pass over with God, or walk around harboring something you really wish you could release! So many of these negative feelings can literally take over, but only if you allow them to.

This is a place that God wants us to avoid getting to at all cost. Why? Well, in many cases once we've reached that point, we have to cut through layers and layers of our flesh just to find the root of the initial issue and then try and create a boundary then. However, in most cases, the damage is done and things go too far! The issue may get "temporarily resolved", but there's always that underlying unsettled feeling, until a true healing process has run its course and God sweeps in.

Application

I encourage each of you, to pray and examine your life for people, places and things that cause you to move out of the Fruits of the Spirit. The areas of your life where you feel like you're constantly hitting a wall in. That family member who is always expecting you to help them out of every bind they're in, that child that tries to manipulate you for not always making the best choices as a parent, that friend you have to constantly wonder what their true intentions are, or maybe even a boss or coworker who is too friendly and intrusive on your personal life. Whatever it is, invite God in and create a boundary. And once you do, stand firm on it. But also be reminded that even with boundaries, we are called to continue to encourage, to uplift, to pray, and to maintain a clean heart. Creating a boundary and becoming rude, or treating someone like they are less than, or as if you don't need them isn't the goal. Be sure your intentions are pure, because that is what matters to God the most. Your heart.

Prayer

Dear God, we want to take a moment to thank you for being a God who sits high and looks low. We thank you for the grace and mercy you extend to us each and every day. We thank you for blessing our going and our coming, Oh God. Lord today we ask that you make clear to us the areas that need boundaries. Direct our paths in creating boundaries Lord, so that we might create them in a way that will exalt you! We pray for the spirit of forgiveness in the spaces we've allowed to go too far without boundaries Lord. We pray that you allow us to walk boldly in the boundaries you help us set Lord not worrying about what others may think or say, God. Have your way in our lives and continue to purge our flesh. We thank you for all that you've done, all that you're doing, and all that you are going to do! Lord I ask that you bless Hidden Treasures and that you guide and cover us on our journey as we continue to Heal, Evolve, and Rise together! AMEN!